Alla inlägg under februari 2011

Av Christian - 23 februari 2011 14:34

And by the Old Ones, the things I were to see and experience!

The Void beyond the stars not emptiness, but darkness itself made manifest and sentient.

Gateways to places that has never had a name in any human tounge.

Gods worshipped when Atlantis was young, and whos altars can still be found in the lost corners of the Earth.

I saw it all, and and it changed me.

It changed me in ways neither you nor I will fully understand no matter how long this testament of mine becomes. Some things simply cannot be described, only experienced, and while I do not doubt that you are curious - just as I once was – rest assured that you are better off not knowing the full extent of my transformation.

A transformation I should have seen coming.

It was with this now familiar feeling of apprehension mixed with utter dread that the changes began to take hold, with me as they had with my uncle.

In hindsight I should have been more careful, and I should have looked closer at the few photographs of the man that I had managed to find; what first as a young boy I had thought to be a nose broken and flattened in some accident or burst of violence, and eyes looking too big and somehow strange behind the thick glasses he wore...

...well, now I know better as the very same changes, subtle as they may have begun, are becoming more and more noticable each time I look into a mirror.

But that came later, and it is a subject to which I will return, should madness not overcome me before that time.

I was on my way to tell you how it all started, but as is my want I sidetracked into half-mad ramblings once again. You must excuse these occasional bursts of insanity; it is hard for a broken mind to gather the pieces of itself into a coherent whole for long enought to tell a story like this.

So where was I before I went out on this metaphorical limb once more?

Ah, yes... my father and his brother, the increasingly strained relationship between them and the at that time unknown reason for said strain. As you might have guessed by now those reasons would not remain a mystery, but would instead slowly unravel during the course of my life, when the boy I was could but marvel and rejoice with trembling at his sudden revelations, and finally the reasons were clear to me as the answers came from solving cyphers perhaps best left alone.

Although in likeness of my uncle I could not help but open just another book, read just another chapter, call just one more forbidden name towards the sky and strain my senses to their very limit in order to feel that one sensation; the chill touch of a prayer heard.

Heard, and perhaps answered.

Av Christian - 10 februari 2011 22:49

and Maldoror keeps laughing
Black eyes
by His too-wide smile
bereft of humanity

and Maldoror keeps singing
Black hymns
by the things they awaken

in us

and Maldoror keeps dancing
Black blood
in the footprints of His quadrille
with death

and Maldoror keeps looking
Black mirrors
the one thing I don´t want
to see

that Maldoror
is me.


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