Bo Burnham
"New Math"

What's a pirate minus the ship? just a creative homeless guy,
And an anteater plus a large hungry mutant ant? an ironic way to die
And what's domain, domain, range  a kid with too much in his pants
And two balls minus one, six titles at the "tour de France" .

Split a decision with long division,
Take the circumference of your circumcision
Live like your data and when you're all "set"
Put it all together and whatever you get.

Is new math...

What's a bag of chips divided by five, that's a Nike worker's meal
And Santa clause multiplied by "I" well I guess that makes him real,
And the square root of the NBA, is Africa in a box,
How do u trace a scatter plot? just give the pencil to Michael j fox.

Take the approximate moral proportion

of the probable problem of a pro-life abortion
Live like your data, and when you're all "set"
Put it all together and whatever you get...

Is new math.

And if you made a factor tree

of the factors that caused my girl to leave me

you'd have a tree...
Full of Asian porn.
C-A-L-C-U-LATOR (see you later) mathematical minds make industrial smog.
And what's the opposite of ln(x), duraflame the unnatural log.

Support the farmers with a pro-tractor,
Link Kennedy and Lincoln with a common factor

Live like your data... blah blah

Word problems

If there's a fat guy in a pastry shop

with a twenty dollar bill and he's ready to buy,
In order to predict his volume change you need to know the value of pi And there's a metal train thats a mile long

and at the very back end a lightning bolt struck her,
How long until it reaches and kills the driver,

provided that he's a good conductor,
And if ten percent of men are gay

and twenty percent of men are Chinese,

what are the odds that a man chosen at random

spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees
And if Kim is half as old as bobby

who is two years older then twelve year old tori,
For how many more 30 day months

will their threesomes be considered statutory rape

Cause havin' sex is like quadratic expansion

if it can't be split then it's time to stop,
And havin' sex is like doing fractions,

it's improper for the larger one to be on top,

And havin' sex is like math homework,

I do it best when I'm alone in my bed.
And squarin' numbers are just like women,

if they're under fifteen just do them in your head...

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