A. och jag satt och jäste efter middagen och var i akut behov av sysselsättning. Då det var något för tidigt för att börja dricka kom idén upp om ännu en ABC-dikt... den här gångenpå ett något mer barnförbjudet tema.

Ni har blivit varnade, och mitt enda försvar är jag under timmarna det tagit att skriva den blivit mer och mer onykter:

Anal sex is really something for him and her both
B for the beads that may be used for above
Cunnilingus comes next, a word fit for prose
Domination then, is the dark side of love

Electric shocks for some makes the blood hotter run
F is for fisting, for leather-men mostly
Group sex well then, come in and join the fun
Handjobs are simple and not really costly

Insertions in holes with all kinds of tools
Jail well you know; take care in the shower
Kamasutra positions; you´ll look like a fool
Lashings and whippings to show who´s in power

Masochism; when you know your proper place
Nails for the drawing of blood with more ease
Obedience; it may be trained in vastly different ways
Pederasty sounds quite nasty but worked well in Greece

Qing Dynasty men bound the feet of their girls
Rimming: for when you are down on all fours
Shot after shot gives a necklace of pearls
Tantric sex a legacy of really ancient lore

Underwear, when used, might actually fit in here
Vacuum pumping certainly is not a thing for me
Wet is pretty popular but also kind of queer
X marks the spot commonly known as "G"

... förlåt.

Drar ner till tåget om en knapp timme, så istället för mitt sedvanliga djup och briljanta intellekt serveras ett klipp från favoritbloggaren OCH favoritkonstären Ursula Vernons senaste post

...och ställ ifrån er morgonkaffet innan ni läser. Att skratta så att heta drycker hamnar i bihålorna gör ont. Trust me on this one :/ 

" It just came to me, like a bolt from the blue.

The ultimate anti-zombie device is not a chainsaw (rather too heavy) or a flamethrower (cool, but indiscriminate) or even a trusty katana (although being the only weapon I am actually vaguely trained to use in any way/have in the house, it's what I'd use) but a maggot-thrower.

If maggots only eat dead flesh, they are the ultimate anti-zombie device. You don't have to worry about innocent living humans getting caught in it--sure, they'd be a little squicked by the sudden rain of maggots from your Mk III High-Power Maggot-Cannon, but they'd recover.

If the maggot-thrower couldn't hold sufficient ammo (we'd need to conduct studies on how many liters of maggots to zombie are required) we could always go back to the old-fashioned method--suspect vats of maggots from the ceiling of the mall, dump them upon the invaders. Again, safe for humans, but death to zombies!

Come to think of it, in many climates with an active fly population, wouldn't they lay eggs in the zombies and eat them all eventually anyway? Ultimately a zombie apocalypse would have to be self-limiting due to all the scavengers--sure, they might fend off vultures and so forth, but the little wee buggers? Nahh. Sure, I'll grant you that in cold climates, you can have your ice zombies, possibly your mummified desert zombies, maybe--at a stretch--your salt-preserved coastal zombies. ("....arrrrrr....braaaaains....") but in most of the world, zombiekind could really only be a temporary plague.

Damnit. "

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